I’ve been doing a lot of grown-up things lately like working downtown, driving on the interstate, putting gas in my car constantly, shaking people’s hands, having a business card, listening to classical music, small-talking about the weather, doing laundry, drinking coffee, scheduling a haircut, and waking up at the crack of dawn.

I wanted to let you know for the most part, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

Tumbling from my cubicle.

Today, I have to make a huge life decision about spending/not spending the entirety of my second semester in Washington DC as an intern for a senator. I also need to study for my first ever college finals, edit two papers, and start finding stories for my portfolio.

Needless to say, I mostly have just sat on tumblr.

Scrolling mindlessly through tumblr because I am too afraid to find out what my homework might have been.

I need both hands to type out these interviews for this story that’s due tomorrow, but I cannot stop eating Italian four cheese Cheez-its. They’re so delicious. It’s unreal.

This moment begins my fall break, and Thursday night I am going home for the first time since labor day.

This is the second installment of “Why I’m not where you are,” in which I explain what’s going on in my life since moving on to college.

-x-

“I’m sad. I just have a bad feeling,” my roommate was telling me today as we got ready to go to lunch. (I had just barely woken up before lunch today, and that’s not a rare occurrence on Wednesdays when she has no class before work, and I simply have class all afternoon.)

“Why?” I clicked off my hairdryer.

“I’m not sure.”

Granted, it was a gloomy day. Outside, it’s all stirred up, soggy leaves and grey skies, and even the active (albeit psychotic) campus squirrels seemed a little down. Hats-gloves-rainboots weather. But I felt it, too, and I thought about what had been on my mind these past few days. I have two homes now. When I went home on Labor Day, this campus wasn’t quite home yet. Now, wherever I go somewhere, there are always going to be people I love that I’m leaving behind.

Fall break is only a couple of days. That will be fine to handle. But the idea struck me out of nowhere that I have incredible people in my life surrounding me in so many places. I’ve always been afraid to just go. I love the idea of traveling, but I always have to confront my homesickness and fears of physical distance from people I care about. But this even distance (even though it’s small) has really worked out. I’m building relationships here, and I’m staying close with the people who have always been important to me, and that’s a good thing.

My roomie and I went to the bank, Wal-Mart, and Starbucks before I dropped her off at work. I drank the best salted caramel mocha I had all season, the rain stopped a little, and the static in the radio cleared enough for us to sing along on the way back. We talked about our plans for the night and sat in the parking lot for a little while. I asked if she was feeling better.

“Yeah, I do,” she said.

I cannot wait to go back home Thursday night, particularly to spend time with my best friend and my brother—we used to do everything together. I miss my mommy. I cannot wait to see my dog. I get all giddy when I think about seeing everyone, visiting my band, and going to a fall festival with my grandpa. I am so excited that I cannot begin to describe it. I cannot wait to go home and tell everyone that I love it here. And I also cannot wait to get back here and tell everyone about how great it is to go back home.

There’s nothing more strange than not being able to decide which place you feel homesick for.

My roomie and I are both in for the night with a cold.

She busted out the footie pajamas.

This is why she is the best.

So… are there any other journalism majors out there?

Do any of you sleep by chance?

Is there a way to make that happen somehow?